


Close Up and Personal

by sternchencas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas with cats, Celebrity!Cas, DeanCas Mini Bang 2018, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Paparazzi!Dean, author!Cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 17:52:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15563238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sternchencas/pseuds/sternchencas
Summary: To help his brother Sam to pay for law school, Dean Winchester works as a paparazzi. His current target, award-winning author Jimmy Novak, is so camera shy that most people don’t even know what he looks like, unlike Dean, who finds out when he literally runs into the man.When Jimmy confronts him about ruining his life, Dean tries to change his ways, and in a sudden turn of events, he gets to unravel the secret that is Jimmy Novak, or better, Castiel.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MaskofCognito](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaskofCognito/gifts), [tfw_cas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tfw_cas/gifts).



> This is my entry for the [DeanCas Mini Bang 2018](deancasminibang.tumblr.com).
> 
> Thank you very much to my lovely artist [Mask](https://maskofcognito.tumblr.com/) who was endlessly patient when I first had to finish my first draft and then decided to rewrite the whole story. The art is wonderful and you should give it some love [here]().
> 
> Another thank you to [Rachel](http://punk-is-notdead.tumblr.com/) for beta reading my story close to last minute and being nice about the story.

When Castiel wakes up, he knows it’s one of those days. Usually, he doesn’t mind being cooped up in his house, but sometimes he opens his eyes and has the urge to run, get outside, be free.

Castiel does the next best thing and hops on his treadmill. It’s not the same, but it keeps him from going crazy. After a quick shower, he takes care of something else that helps him through the day; his cats. Cleaning the litter boxes before breakfast might not be for everybody, but Castiel doesn’t mind and instead gets it done early. 

Afterwards, he gets a warm welcome in the kitchen where he has to do a sort of ballet to feed four cats without tripping over one of them. At least three of them; the fourth is Lollop. The Main Coon is the boss, and she knows it, no need to scramble for food or beg for Castiel’s attention. Castiel places her food bowl next to the others and gives her a quick pet while walking past the cat tree, and she waits for him to get started with his coffee before she finally gets up to inspect her breakfast.

Castiel takes the cup of coffee with him and walks along the corridor to what he calls the ‘observation room.’ From here he can check all the cameras that cover every inch of his property, above the front gate. Gee, Castiel’s bodyguard and security advisor, isn’t here, so he’s probably doing one of his rounds. Castiel takes a sip of his coffee and watches the monitors. It’s only 7 am, but some paparazzi are already hanging about at the front gate or on the other side of the street. On an average day, this view makes him want to stay inside the whole day, but today he wonders if there might be an opening for him to go outside later.

Castiel walks back to the kitchen and picks up his phone from a dresser in the corridor to call his manager. Cain messaged him that he wanted to talk, and when he picks up after the second ring, he doesn’t bother with a greeting, but immediately starts to explain what he wants. Castiel is listening in silence until Cain asks his usual question. “Sound good?”

Most of the time, Castiel can answer with a single ‘yes,’ but today he hesitates. “A blog? Do you really think that suits me?”

“You might like typewriters, notebooks, and good old notes on paper, but time doesn’t just stop for you. It’s time to catch up. Your fans will be ecstatic, and while there will always be paparazzi in front of your house, I’m sure their numbers will go down if there are high res pictures of you on the internet. I just have to find you the right photographer first.”

“Great,” Cas says, the word leaving a bad taste in his mouth, and Cain picks up on it. 

“I know you don’t like getting your picture taken at all, but I’ll find you someone you’re comfortable with; otherwise we skip the pictures. Alright? You can always say no along the way, you know that.”

Of course, Castiel knows. That’s why Cain is his manager. He might push him out of his comfort zone once in a while, but whenever it’s too much for Castiel, Cain allows him to back out. “Alright, let’s do it.”

Castiel can hear the smile and excitement in Cain’s voice. “I’ll set everything in motion, and we’ll talk details when I come by next time.”

“Okay.”

“How’s the writing going?” Cain asks, and Cas bites his lip.

“Could be better, but I wrote something yesterday,” Castiel says. It’s not a lie, since Castiel did write something. It’s just that he didn’t write on his current book, the one with the deadline, but scribbled some notes for another story. 

“Good, no pressure, though. We’re well on time. I’ll see you next week.”

“Bye,” Castiel mumbles, before he hangs up and walks back into the kitchen. While he puts the food bowls belonging to his cats into the sink to clean them, his eyes wander to the window. The sun hits the green grass in his garden, and he knows it’s going to be a beautiful day. 

Castiel takes a deep breath and makes a decision. He soaks the bowls in water and goes to look for Gee to let him know. His bodyguard doesn’t like it when Castiel goes outside on his own, but it’s one of those days, and Castiel needs to be free.

* * *

Dean parks his car a few streets away from the Novak residence. While he doesn’t like leaving his Baby alone, it would bother him even more if the other paparazzi knew what he’s driving. It’s still early, so Dean takes the time for a quick breakfast before he puts the strap of his camera around his neck and gets out of the car. He also gets a small bottle of water and stuffs it into the leg pocket of his shorts. He hates that it drags him down a little bit, but he doesn’t plan on coming back for a few hours and on a day like this, he at least needs some fluids.

After a five minute walk, Dean arrives at Jimmy Novak’s house. The entrance is already besieged by a few other paparazzi and Dean wonders if the interest in the guy will fade at some point. About three years ago, Jimmy became famous overnight with a book called ‘Angels among us’ that Dean hasn’t bothered to read yet, although his brother, Sam, is a huge fan. 

Back in the day, Jimmy got a lot of bad press when people found out that he was the son of media mogul Chuck Shurley. Jimmy had to defend himself against the allegation that his father pushed the book to the top of every bestseller list, and only when Shurley claimed that he neither knew nor cared about his son’s book, did Jimmy get the praise that he deserved. Or so the press told everybody. Dean doesn’t care either way. All he knows is that Jimmy has a shit ton of fans, and since he’s also young and pretty, they not only read his books but want to see him as well. It makes him a valuable target for paparazzi, even more so since he does his best to hide away in his estate, and doesn’t make public appearances unless it’s unavoidable. 

“Back again I see,” comes a voice from behind a tree and Dean sighs. It belongs to Crowley, a particular breed of paparazzi. Instead of showing up and hoping for the best, he’s known to first create the scenarios in which to catch his prey, and he’s not above trickery to be the only one to get a good shot. Just like Dean, he’s been on Novak since the beginning, which lets them run into each other way more often than Dean likes.

“Crowley,” Dean says and walks past him, but Crowley catches up to him, not so easily defeated.

“Forgive me, but I’ve been wondering. Lately, you sell a decent picture here and there, why come back to this one again and again?” 

Dean lifts his camera a bit, stating the obvious. “Part of the job description, and I could ask you the same.”

Crowley smiles softly as if he’s pitying Dean. “I have a client with a special interest in our boy wonder, but you-? Magazines pay less and less, from what I hear.”

Dean only grunts for an answer, because the truth is that he asks himself the same question. Why does he even bother to come here at least once a week? He got lucky in the past and was able to take a few pictures of Jimmy, but they neither showed him in a compromising light nor were they particularly good, and therefore they didn’t pay very well.

Maybe it’s just his ego. Getting Jimmy Novak would be quite the achievement since he has a way of avoiding the cameras, and his home has grown into more and more of a fortress over the years. Or maybe Dean doesn’t want to accept that he’s wasting his time since that would mean he wasted his time in the past when he could have followed way more lucrative targets. And then there’s Jimmy himself. Dean doesn’t know what it is, but there’s something about him that draws Dean in. Jimmy is attractive, that’s for sure, but Dean prides himself on being less superficial, so that can’t be it. Wallowing in thoughts won’t get him closer to a photo, though. Probably he just thinks that there’s something special because he’s been following Jimmy for so long. 

Dean leaves Crowley behind without another word and rethinks his newest plan. The front gate is not a good option. Jimmy sometimes comes outside but there are trees everywhere, and it’s impossible to get a good shot. Once, Dean was able to snatch a picture of Jimmy in his garden because Dean was sitting in a tree on the other side of the road. The tree was cut down two days later. It’s also not easy to climb the wall that’s surrounding the property, and Jimmy’s bodyguard began to check the garden regularly to make sure that nobody was able to lie in wait for Jimmy to come out. 

There’s only one other option. The garden door. While it looks run down, Dean knows it’s just as secure as the front gate, but it’s a good way to sneak out since it opens and closes pretty fast. The only reason nobody but Dean hangs out here, is that Jimmy doesn’t use it. At least that’s what the others think. Dean has watched Jimmy leave a couple of times, but he’s never been in the position to take a real money shot, so he kept the pictures and the secret. The only problem is that Jimmy uses this option rarely, and Dean hasn’t figured out when and why. 

Dean makes sure that none of the other paparazzi followed him, especially Crowley, and gets in position behind some bushes. The sun is mercilessly burning down on him, and Dean begins to talk like he can will Jimmy to leave. “Come on, for some reason you sneak out of there, why not today? Give me a chance.”

After a few hours, Dean has changed his position twice, mainly because he relieved himself in the bushes and has rendered them useless as a hiding spot. His bottle of water is empty, and 30 minutes ago, Dean’s stomach decided to give him regular updates, telling him that any kind of food would be highly appreciated. Dean even puts his camera on the ground and rubs his sweaty neck where the strap cut into his skin. Considering his immense discomfort, Dean is about to throw in the towel when he hears a sharp sound and the garden door moves.

The last time Dean waited here, he came up with a plan that might get him the perfect picture, so he immediately springs into action. He grabs his camera and runs up to the wall to position himself around the corner. Jimmy wouldn’t sneak out just to walk back to the front gate, which makes Dean’s hiding spot the only possible way he can go. 

Dean waits, trying to listen to Jimmy’s footsteps, but he can’t hear anything. The seconds tick by and out of fear that he might have missed Jimmy after all, Dean steps around the corner at the worst possible moment. Jimmy reaches the corner at the exact same moment, and Dean is so surprised that he accidentally hits the trigger on his camera. Blinded by the light of the flash, Jimmy tries to shield his eyes, and the motion knocks the camera off balance. Dean can feel it slip, and fear seeps into him when his eyes fall on the strap that’s just dangling there instead of being securely located around his neck. 

The next moment plays out in slow motion for Dean. Despite him trying to tighten his grip, the camera continues its descent and Dean knows he can’t hold on. He imagines the sound it’s going to make when it shatters on the ground, and his mind replays every argument he had with his brother about insurance and how it might save his livelihood one day. It’s just that Dean barely gets by without paying for insurance, and now that his camera will meet an early demise, he’s going to be in deep shit.

The sound of his failure never comes, though. Jimmy caught his camera. He’s hunched over, and it seems he’s still disoriented from the flash, but the camera lies safe and sound in his hand. Dean is so happy, he doesn’t think about who he’s talking to. “Wow, nice reflexes, man.”

Jimmy straightens up to look at him, and when he doesn’t speak, Dean tries his best smile. “Hi, Jimmy.”

Usually, Jimmy’s clothing alternates between loose sweaters and dress shirts and slacks, but now he’s wearing a hoodie, and Dean can see that he’s not happy that his poor excuse for a disguise isn’t holding up. “You have me at a disadvantage. I don’t know who you are.”

“Oh, I’m Dean, Dean Winchester.” He holds out his hand, but when Jimmy makes no attempt to shake it, Dean realizes that it might not be a good idea to give your name to the person you’re stalking. Jimmy’s also still holding Dean’s camera, and Dean turns his outstretched hand around with his palm up. “Um, can I have that back?”

“Dean Winchester,” Jimmy mumbles, and he makes no attempt to give Dean his camera back. Instead, he keeps staring at Dean with his intensely blue eyes and his face grows dark. "The Stars, Important People's Holiday Special, The City News, Gotcha, At Home With The Stars, Viva Los Photos-"

Hot flashes run through Dean’s body while Jimmy rattles off that list. Those are all magazines and online blogs to whom Dean sold pictures of Jimmy, and Jimmy’s voice gets angrier with every word. “Why are you doing this to me?”

He suddenly lifts the camera, and holds it in Dean's face, who just shrugs his shoulders and can’t think of anything better to say than, "A man's gotta eat to live."

Jimmy looks like he's about to murder Dean, and while he’s going to deny it later, Dean takes a step back. Jimmy obviously doesn't care. He follows Dean, coming even closer than before, his piercing eyes still trained on him. "And I have to live like this." With a sudden movement, he shoves the camera into Dean's hands. "Just leave me alone."

He sidesteps Dean and walks away, and for once Dean has no desire to follow him. Instead, he walks back to his car and drives to his favorite diner, the Roadhouse. The owner, Ellen, is kind enough to give him a free meal once in a while, especially when he’s had a bad day, and this was one of those days.


	2. Chapter 2

“I’m stuck again,” Castiel whines into the phone, and immediately feels guilty because his sister always has to deal with his writer’s block. It probably wouldn’t be this way if Anna weren’t uniquely qualified to get him unstuck.

“Is the story really your problem though?” Anna asks, and Castiel feels called out.

“Maybe not,” he admits, and Anna hums in acknowledgment.

“Then what is?”

Castiel sighs. His problem is Dean Winchester. It’s been three weeks since they ran into each other, and while Dean at least had the decency not to follow him that day or sell the picture he took, the threat still remains. And the worst part is that he knows about the garden door. The cameras don’t show anybody around it, so it seems like Dean is the only one who knows about it, but one paparazzi is already one too many. 

The need to go outside is like an itch that Castiel can’t scratch, but with Dean out there, he’s not sure he should risk it. “It’s that paparazzi guy I told you about.”

“I see, you want to go out again.”

Just like Gee, Anna is not a big fan of Castiel’s solo adventures, and time and again, the issue comes up for debate. “It’s not like I’m in danger, you know that. I just don’t want him to know about the Sanctuary.”

The Sanctuary is actually called ‘Rosie’s Little Bakery,’ and nobody in his right mind would think that Jimmy Novak would eat there, let alone it being one of his favorite places. It’s not like the food is extraordinary, but it’s not bad either, and it’s a small cafe hidden under trees in a tiny park in Castiel’s neighborhood. There’s little foot traffic, mostly old local people go there, and the two waitresses either don’t know who Jimmy is, or they don’t care. Just to be sure, he still only goes there in disguise, but so far he never had any trouble. He can’t risk for Dean to find out about it.

“But you said that Gee hasn’t seen him, right? Did you?” Anna asks.

Castiel had told Gee to keep an eye out for Dean specifically, and every day, Castiel checks the cameras, especially the ones around the garden door. “No, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be lurking anywhere.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, dear,” Anna says. “Do you want me to come over?”

“No, it’s fine,” Cas assures her. It’s bad enough that he keeps crying to Anna on the phone, he doesn’t want to give her even more trouble. “I think I’ll give it a try. I guess I just have to use a better disguise.”

Anna snorts. “Not the fedora, right?”

“It’s not that bad,” Castiel says, and when Anna only laughs, he hangs up on her. When he leaves the kitchen, Lollop hops down from the cat tree and runs after him. After all, what’s a good disguise without a decent amount of cat hair on it?

* * *

It's been three weeks since Dean ran into Jimmy, and he hasn’t been to the estate since. Crowley is probably celebrating already. Dean feels weird though. He got so used to Jimmy’s house, the way he did things, and his face. At least the parts that were visible once in a while. It's strange to follow other people around, but at least he's been able to sell some pictures, nothing special though. It's been little snapshots; photos you use when you have to fill a page and don't have any text left. He knows some people who buy that stuff from him, just in case, but it never pays good money.

That's probably why he doesn't look forward to meeting his brother. They agreed to get together once a week in a little bakery near Sam's school, and usually Dean would be all for it, but not today. Being near pies when he doesn't have money to buy a piece is just torture.

When he walks inside, he heads straight for the table Sam is already sitting at, and ignores the showcases. "Heya Sammy."

Sam comes out from behind a book he's been reading and smiles. "Hey, Dean. I was afraid you wouldn't show. You sounded stressed on the phone."

'Stressed' isn't exactly the word Dean would use. 'Fighting for his livelihood' is more like it, but he can't tell that to Sam. "It's fine. I've just been in the middle of a job."

Sam keeps smiling like that's a good thing. "Any good pictures?"

"Oh yeah, sold some yesterday."

It's really no big deal, but Sam suddenly straightens up and lifts his eyebrows, making an excellent impression of an excited puppy. "Did you finally get him? You know, Jimmy?"

Dean doesn't answer right away, because there's a muffled sound coming from one of the tables next to them, followed by coughing. Dean looks over, but the only thing he can see is some legs coming out from behind a paper. He waits for a moment to make sure the person behind it doesn't kick the bucket. "You alright over there?"

There's no answer. Just a hand coming out from behind the paper, giving a thumbs up. It has some form of familiarity to Dean, but he shrugs it off and turns to Sam. "So, what have you been up to?"

Sam shakes his head, sending his mop of hair flying. "Don't bail out on me. Did you get him or not?"

It is one thing to hide his general situation from his brother, but Dean can't bring himself to lie to his face right now. "I, um, I moved on from him."

"What? Why?"

"It's just not worth the trouble."

Of course, his brother lacks the decency to let Dean sulk in peace and objects. "You're kidding, right? I mean, you've been following him around for how long? Three years? Giving up now is just stupid, Dean, and you know it. You were the one who told me that he's your best option to get some money together. Don't you want to do that photo workshop anymore?"

Dean sighs. "That was a stupid idea anyway. Nobody's going to scramble to get me as their photographer just because I take part in one lousy workshop."

Sam huffs, and Dean waits for one of his bitch faces to come on. "It's not stupid, Dean. Your pictures are so great. You are so much more talented than those losers out there who have galleries and vernissages."

"Those losers have names, Sam. They have influence, money. They have everything I don't. And I'm not seeing it coming my way anytime soon. Just, let it go."

There's a short silence, but Dean can see Sam's brain work, and sure as hell, he has to keep going. "How about Jimmy? I guess he's got influence and knows people."

From one second to the other, everything wrong that happened over the last few weeks makes its way out of Dean in a burst of hot, burning anger. "You act like I know the guy! News flash, man, I've been stalking him! We're not best buds. You know what I am to him? Scum. A tiny, useless piece of shit he doesn't even want to have on the compost pile in his freakin' perfect garden! So just. Let it. Go."

Sam's bitch face appeared right around Dean calling himself scum, and only intensifies until Dean is done with his speech. When he talks, he sounds like his stubborn 12-year-old self again. "You don't know that."

A bitter, frustrated laugh makes its way out of Dean. "I know. I talked to him."

Sam blows air through his nose and gives him a disbelieving look, but when Dean doesn't say anything, he leans forward and props himself up on the table. "You talked to Jimmy Novak? The Jimmy Novak."

There's another cough from the other table, and Dean is short of walking over there and asking the guy what his problem is, but then he just falls back in his chair. "I was desperate and went for a close-up shot. Kind of ran into the guy."

He wants to leave it at that, but Sam is looking at him, waiting for the rest of the story, and now Dean feels like he's 12 again, telling his little brother whatever he could think of to make him fall asleep. "You want the story? Fine. We bumped into each other, and I almost broke my camera, but he caught it, like mid-flight. Pretty impressive actually. I asked if I could have it back because I thought we were good, but he kept it and asked for my name."

Sam's eyes grow bigger with his last words. "You told him? Jimmy Novak knows your name. What did he say?"

Dean thinks back to the worst part of their interaction. "He recited a list of names from all the magazines I sold pictures to."

“He remembered all that? That’s impressive.”

"Well, he wasn’t happy about it.”

Sam shrugs his shoulders. "That doesn’t mean that he thinks of you as scum. How would you know what he thinks? You don’t really know him."

"I do know a lot more than I should. Most of his days are the same. He has breakfast, listens to that classical music shit, treats his garden. Every other day he's on the phone for an hour or two, I think with the same person. And then he just stands there, watching the flowers, and the birds, and beetles or whatever he's into, all the time hidden between some branches or bushes. It's exhausting. And all of a sudden, he just walks in and doesn't come out for hours, just writing. Unless the weather is okay, then he comes outside in one of his way too warm for the weather sweaters, scribbling in a notebook. You wouldn't believe how many of them there are. It has a different color every freaking time, and he just fills it up and takes the next one. He probably has some sort of a ‘Seven’-like collection in his basement or something. Together with the 20 cats he's feeding all the time."

Maybe Dean might have said more, but there's another muffled noise from the other table, and Dean loses it. "Are you sure you're okay over there? I can call a doctor. Or an exorcist maybe?"

There's no answer, but instead, Dean gets another bitch face from Sam, who throws an apologetic smile in the direction of the other table. "I'm sorry. We didn't want to bother you. We'll just keep it down."

Before Dean can object, Sam stares him down, and he's not in the mood to get into a fight with his brother. They just order coffee, and stay silent for a while, until Sam makes another attempt to get through to him. "Look, I don't know what happened, but are you sure you want to give up now?"

Dean sighs. "He told me to leave him alone, Sam. And-"

He can't bring himself to say it, because he remembers the look on Jimmy's face. It was the reason that he didn't follow him that day, and why it was pretty hard for Dean to take pictures of anyone the following week. He felt so sorry about it.

Sam makes puppy eyes at him, probably to make sure Dean won't get angry again. "And what?"

"I don't like doing that, man. Following those people around. I don't care where they eat, or shop, or whatever. I get why they want to be left alone."

"Then don't do it."

Dean laughs. That's so Sammy it hurts. "And you pay your school with what?"

"I'm working, Dean. I told you, I can take more shifts. I'll just give you the money back. It might take a while, but you can do the workshop and-"

"Shut up! I'm not taking your money."

"But Dean-"

"You need to watch your grades, man. They don't fuck around. You start to slip, and your scholarship is gone. It's not worth it."

Sam just rolls his eyes. "You can't force me to take your money."

Dean lifts his eyebrows provocatively. "Yeah? Watch me."

They reached another impasse, and Dean feels terrible, because he knows how much Sam hates to depend on him. "Maybe I'll do proms. Or weddings. You know, bridesmaids."

He wiggles his eyebrows again, this time in a much lighter mood, and Sam laughs. "Jerk."

"Bitch." They stay silent for a moment, and Dean wants to forget about his baggage. “Enough of my shit. Tell me about that girl you like. Eileen was it? She already madly in love with you?”

Sam’s face lights up, and he talks and talks, unable to stop smiling. Dean doesn’t interrupt him once. It must be so nice to be in love. He doesn’t quite recall the feeling.


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel sits in the restaurant and looks around, feeling like a kid in an amusement park. He’s not the most outgoing person, but if you’re forced to stay inside most of the time, every hour in the ‘real world’ becomes much more special. Castiel likes how the people interact with each other, carefree and happy. It’s not like he regrets the success of his book, and he wouldn’t want to go back, but he wishes he could enjoy the world like these people, just once in a while.

Anna comes back from the bathroom and nods at the menu in his hand. “You know what you want?”

“Um, no, I got distracted,” Castiel admits. “But it’s nice here. How did you find this place?”

“We came here once for a Christmas party,” Anna says, and disappears behind her own menu. “For Michael’s firm. The fish is great.”

The last two sentences become kind of a mashup and Castiel wonders if he said something wrong, but then Anna puts down the menu. “I think I want pasta though. You?”

“How about we try the chef’s menu?” Castiel suggests.

“What’s that?”

Castiel holds his menu out for Anna so she can read the description. “You don’t really order anything. They just bring what the chef recommends. Usually some specials they might not make otherwise.”

“Oh, that sounds fun, let’s do that,” Anna chirps.

The way she says it makes Castiel wonder again if everything is alright. Somehow Anna seems to be trying too hard to make this a lovely evening, but that might be for his benefit, so he tells her how her advice gave him a new idea for the chapter he’s working on and they are soon engaged in a fruitful conversation about his latest book character. They keep talking all through dinner, and while Castiel won’t be able to use all of it in his book, it’s still fun to invent silly plot lines and annoying side characters.

“I’m so glad we did this,” Anna says over desert, “this was so much fun. And the food was great, it was a good idea to try the chef’s menu.”

“Did you have any of this at Michael’s Christmas party?”

It’s just a throwaway question, and Castiel didn’t think about it at all, but Anna’s face loses all color. “I think, I-” She doesn’t finish the sentence when tears well up in her eyes, and she jumps to her feet. “Excuse me.”

She storms off, and Castiel gets up to follow her. He catches up to her in front of the restroom and tries to stop her by holding her arm. “Anna, wait! Are you alright?”

“Yes, I just- I need-” Castiel lets go of her in case she wants to go to the restroom, but then she shakes her head. “Some air.”

Before Castiel can stop her, she heads past the kitchen and pushes open a ‘personal only’ door. “Anna, wait! Gee is still out front-” Castiel begins, but Anna is already through the door, so Castiel follows her with a curse. They end up in an alleyway next to the restroom, and in between two dumpsters Anna stops and cries her eyes out.

Castiel walks over to her and stretches his arms out to show that he wants to help her, and she dives into his arms. While she cries, Castiel holds her close and keeps talking. “It’s alright, just let it all out. I’ll be here when you’re ready. Just take your time.”

Anna quickly makes an effort to steady her breathing, and finally, she stammers out some words. “It’s Michael. He… he cheated on me. It’s o... over.”

She goes back to sobbing, and Castiel refrains from making any comments about Michael. He seemed nice enough, but Castiel never entirely connected with him, and he surely won’t miss him. “It’s alright. You’re strong and awesome. You will survive just fine without him. And I’ll be here if you need help.”

* * *

Dean hates himself for being here, but he got an alert that Jimmy has been spotted in a restaurant accompanied by a woman. Social media is a paparazzi’s new best friend, but it must sure suck for the celebrities. Dean made the decision to come because he had another shitty day. He remembers why he decided to stalk people for a living, instead of finding people who could hire him. Every freaking bride wants their wedding to be perfect, and for that, they need a highly qualified photographer. With certificates, and business cards, and references. It seems impossible to get a job.

Exhausted from a meeting with a very loud, and excited woman (who's not quite sure if he really is the man for the job), he threw all his good intentions to the wind and prays for a way to make some quick money. Dean is not the only one in front of the restaurant though. Crowley is there of course, and a few other familiar faces. Another dead giveaway is Jimmy’s bodyguard who’s talking to an employee of the restaurant, much likely to make sure that only ‘real’ guests can get inside. Dean could try to act as such, but he doesn't see a way to sneak in his camera, and a few lousy pictures that were taken with his phone won’t do him any good.

Dean is hiding behind his car on the other side of the road and only peeks over the roof to look through his binoculars into the restaurant. He can see where Jimmy is sitting, but even with the right lens, he won’t be able to get a good picture. Besides, Jimmy’s company doesn’t make for a good news story since it’s only his sister, Anna. Dean looks down at the camera around his neck, still there because Jimmy caught it, and tries to will himself to leave. The guy deserves a break after all; he should be able to have dinner with his sister without being ambushed. 

Just one more second and Dean would have gotten into his car, but then Anna gets up, and Jimmy follows her. Dean’s feet jump into action, and he’s already halfway to the restaurant until his brain catches up. Anna and Jimmy must have seen the paparazzi, and they’re trying to leave another way. Dean knows that there’s a door leading to an alleyway next to the restaurant, since it wouldn’t be his first time catching a sneaky celebrity there.

When Dean reaches the corner he’s still on his own, and when he hears voices, he steps into the alleyway, lifting his camera. Before him, Jimmy stands close to Anna, and when they hear Dean, they both raise their heads. Anna’s eyes are red, and there are tears on her cheeks. Jimmy steps aside and tries the door, but when he finds it locked he positions himself in front of Anna and takes off his jacket to hide her under it while Anna does her best to wipe away the tears and look presentable. The scene breaks Dean’s heart because the two of them aren’t surprised at all but immediately spring into action at the sight of a camera. They must have done this countless times, and while it’s not fair, Dean still feels the itch to take a picture. At least until he catches Jimmy’s gaze. He’s not even angry, but his eyes are pleading with Dean who can imagine the unspoken words. ‘Please, not my sister.’

Dean lowers his camera and Jimmy’s eyes widen in surprise, but then they can hear approaching footsteps and Dean curses. The other paparazzi must have seen where he went and followed him to get their piece of the pie. Dean turns around and hurries away from the alleyway, seemingly talking to himself, but he speaks loud enough for the others to hear him. “You gotta hand it to Novak, he sure is a sneaky bastard. First, he heads for the alley like they’re going out the back and then nada.”

He picks up the pace when he walks past the other paparazzi who come to a halt and are watching him. “You’re saying he’s not there?” 

Dean has never seen the guy who asked and gives him a dirty look. “You think I’d be looking at you fuckers if he was? Bet he’s walking out through the front door right now with a big smile because he pulled one over on us.”

Crowley side-eyes him but seems to decide that he can’t take a chance. He’s the first one to turn around, and when the others rush after him, Dean follows in a hurry to sell his lie. He just hopes Jimmy is smart enough to use the commotion as an exit strategy. When they reach the front, Jimmy’s bodyguard is gone, and after 30 minutes everybody comes to the conclusion that Jimmy and his sister are gone. Some of them leave, and Crowley walks over to Dean, suspicion on his face. “What’s your game, Winchester?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Dean says, knowing full well how stupid it sounds.

Crowley takes another look back at the alleyway before watching Dean intensely, “I always knew you weren’t cut out for the job, and if you’re going soft on him, then that’s your problem.” He comes closer, and his voice gets a darker edge to it. “But if you ruin my business one more time, you’ll have to face the consequences.”

Some of the others steal glances at them, and Dean shrugs his shoulders. “Don't know what your problem is. You win some, you lose some. Today we lost.”

“Mark my words,” Crowley insists, but Dean only rolls his eyes at him.

“Yeah, whatever. I’m outta here.”

He walks away and makes sure that Crowley isn’t watching before he gets into his car and drives away. On his way home, Dean stops by the Roadhouse again and Ellen offers him something to eat without him asking. He gladly accepts and hopes that what he did might give him some good karma. That way he would have earned at least something today.


	4. Chapter 4

Maybe Dean’s actions spoiled them, and perhaps they’re taking too many risks now, but only one week after the incident at the restaurant, Castiel and Anna sit in the Sanctuary and enjoy some pie together. After what happened, Castiel wants to take better care of Anna, and they haven’t talked about him or his writing at all. Instead, Anna tells him about her work at the museum, and her new colleague Charlie, who’s a redhead like her, and invited her to go to a LARPing event over the weekend. 

“I wish I could stay longer, but I still have to pack,” she says, and Castiel gives her a big smile.

“It’s alright, I’ll be fine on my own. You have some fun.”

Anna still doesn’t get up, concern clouding her face. “And you want to stay?”

“It’s the Sanctuary, I don’t call it that for nothing.”

“But one of them has been here, hasn’t he?” Anna asks, and Castiel regrets that he told her about Dean. 

“They have as much right to be in here as I have,” he says, trying to avoid Anna’s underlying question. She doesn’t back down though.

“It was him, wasn’t it? The guy you met in the street, and the one in the alley? Dean, was it?” Anna reads the answers from Castiel’s face and keeps asking, “Why didn’t he take a picture?”

“I don’t know. Maybe Dean saw the error of his ways. Who knows with them.”

Anna rolls her eyes. “You say it like he’s another species. They are still people.”

“Are they?” Castiel raises one eyebrow at her, and when she makes a face, he gives in. “They are not very nice people though.”

“I don’t know. There’s a story behind everything. You said Dean helps out his brother with the money. Not everybody can write a bestseller and be set for life.”

Castiel grunts. “Now I’m starting to feel sorry for him. These people are ruining my life.”

“Oh hush, don’t be so overdramatic,” Anna says with a frown. “And I’m not saying that it’s okay what they’re doing. All I know is that this Dean-guy didn’t take an incriminating picture when he could have, and then did everything to keep the others from doing it. Maybe-” Anna pauses her speech to look at Castiel. “Maybe he’s ready for redemption.”

“Why are you giving me this look?” Castiel prods, and Anna grabs her purse instead of looking at him.

“He’s kinda cute.”

“Hell no, Anna,” Castiel huffs, and he only lowers his voice when the old couple at the next table looks over to them. “What are you implying?”

“I have to run,” she says, and leans over the table to give Castiel a quick hug. “Just think about it.”

She winks at him and waves before she leaves the bakery, and Castiel is sitting there with a ton of thoughts that he can’t quite process. So what if Dean is cute? He’s still a stalker who’s been living off Castiel’s discomfort for the past three years. Castiel gets angry at the thought, but he has to admit that he doesn’t know how it feels to be in financial trouble. Castiel grew up with his father’s money, and then he and Anna moved out together. Anna paid the bills while he wrote his book, and he only chipped in with peanuts from an editing job that he did from home. Not exactly hard labor.

And then Castiel has a hard time forgetting Dean’s eyes. When he stood there, camera at the ready, they shared a look, and something seemed to shift in Dean, right before he took off. Castiel tells himself that he’s reading too much into it, but he earns his money by writing about interactions like that, and they had what you might call ‘a moment.’ Maybe that’s the reason he’s still sitting here. There is a small chance that Dean might show up, and Castiel could thank him for sparing Anna.

* * *

Over the last couple of days, Dean did his best to turn his life around. After what happened in the alley, Dean couldn’t bring himself to go back to Jimmy’s place, and when he tried to follow somebody else, he found that he couldn’t do that either. Instead, Dean managed to do a wedding at the last minute when the photographer they booked didn’t show. It was kind of a disaster, since one of the attending kids took his memory card for a swim in a glass of water while he was putting a new one in the camera. The bride almost had a heart attack until he assured her that there was still a way to save the pictures, and after he let the card dry and found it still functioning, she was so excited that she spiced up his payment with a hefty bonus.

It won’t last long, but Dean decides that he earned a little treat. He goes to the bakery where he often meets with Sam, and orders a white chocolate caramel mocha and a nice slice of cherry pie before he sits down in a corner. There’s already somebody sitting there, but they're hidden behind a newspaper, so Dean assumes it’s going to be quiet. He stretches out in his chair, and lets go of all his thoughts for a while until the waitress comes by and brings his order. He gives her a big smile and is about to dig in when the person behind the newspaper sneezes. "Bless you,” Dean says, the words leaving his mouth of their own accord.

“Thank you,” comes the answer, and Dean freezes when it feels like ice water is filling his stomach, and a chill runs down his spine. He knows that voice. He only heard it one time, but it's pretty unique after all. Dean takes a closer look and recognizes the getup. The person looks like the guy with the cough who almost drove him mad when he met here with Sam. He has to be sure.

Deliberately speaking in a higher voice, he leans over to the other table. "Excuse me?"

The guy lowers the paper but stills when he looks at Dean. It's hard to see his eyes because they're hidden behind dark sunglasses, but Dean knows they are blue. Dean smiles. "I swear to god, I wasn't following you."

Jimmy is wearing a fedora, but he still takes a quick look around, checking if it’s really just Dean, or if he has to escape. "I don't think anybody but me knows,” Dean assures him and looks Jimmy up and down. “I like the coat. Very 50s P.I.”

Probably tired of his disguise, Jimmy takes off the fedora and lifts up the glasses, so that they're resting on top of his head. “I’m not wearing this as a fashion statement, you know?”

His eyes are sparkling like he dares Dean to talk back to him. It might not have the desired effect though, because Dean's mind suddenly goes to all the wrong places. He has rarely seen Jimmy like this. Wearing a dress shirt, and not some sweater, his hair all messed up, and those stupid glasses make him look like a movie star.

“I’m sorry,” Dean says, and when Jimmy only raises his brows, Dean feels the need to clarify for what. “Of course, I know. Obviously, I’m part of the reason why you have to dress up like this. I’m sorry that I followed you around all this time. It wasn't okay to take pictures, or even be near your house. But I'm not doing that anymore. Because of what you said, I'll try to do something not intrusive.”

Dean shuts his mouth with force because he fears that nonsense might come out, and Jimmy slowly nods his head. “Well, that’s good to hear.”

He keeps looking at Dean with those damn eyes, and Dean feels the need to keep talking. “I hope your sister is alright.”

“How do you-?” Jimmy begins, but then he shakes his head. “Of course you know. Um, she’s fine. I guess I owe you a thank you. That was quite impressive how you got those vultures off our backs.”

“What? No, that was nothing,” Dean stumbles. “Just the decent thing to do. And I shouldn’t have been there in the first place.”

“Nonetheless, Anna was impressed. She thinks you’re cute.”

Dean blushes and stares into the table. “Um, thanks, I guess.”

“Why didn’t you do it? Why didn’t you take the picture?” Jimmy asks out of the blue, and when Dean looks up again, Jimmy’s eyes bore into him.

“I just-” Dean struggles to put the feeling into words. “The way you looked at me… it didn’t seem right. Like, I get why fans want to get pictures of the people they adore, but there should at least be some decency behind it. Which sounds hypocritical coming out of my mouth.”

Dean sighs and Jimmy nods. “It does, but at least you’re trying to redeem yourself.”

“Doesn’t pay so well though,” Dean says, and makes a face. For a tiny second, there’s something like a half smile on Jimmy’s face, and Dean is intrigued to get more of this. “I’m saving up for a workshop to get some credentials and become an actual photographer. Might just take some time. Brides don’t like me at all.”

“Maybe you should focus on the grooms,” Jimmy deadpans, and Dean isn’t sure if he just made a joke or tries to imply something, but then Jimmy gets up and pulls down the glasses and puts his hat back on. “Good luck with your fresh start.”

“Luck,” Dean huffs. “That would be new if I got some of that. But thank you.”

Jimmy gives him a small nod and gets up, leaving the newspaper and an empty cup behind. Dean fights the urge to watch him go and finally digs into his feast. Now there are two things he can celebrate. His first job well done, and being on acceptable terms with Jimmy. Dean takes his sweet time and makes sure to inhale every crumb of the pie before he gets up and walks over to the waitress to pay. She looks over at his table, a little confused. “The gentleman in the hat already paid. He also gave me this for you.”

She hands over a business card, utterly unfazed by the big letters spelling Jimmy’s name, and now Dean knows why Jimmy likes to come here. It seems to be one of the few places where people don’t know who he is. Dean murmurs a thank you and wishes them all a good day before walking outside and studying the card. On the back it says ‘Saturday, 9 am, bring the card’ and in the corner is an initial that looks more like a C than a J. Dean’s heart begins to flutter, and he’s not quite sure how to feel. What could this mean?


	5. Chapter 5

It’s almost 9 am when Dean parks Baby in his usual spot near Jimmy’s house. It feels weird to be here again, especially with an invitation. Since Dean has no idea what’s going to happen, he is wearing his newest jeans and shirt, just in case. He walks right up to the gate and rings while the other paparazzi give him questioning looks. Dean is glad Crowley doesn’t seem to be around. The intercom next to the bell cracks and a metallic voice comes out of it. “Yes?”

“I’m Dean Winchester,” Dean says and holds up Jimmy’s card in front of something that looks like a camera. “I have an appointment with Mr. Novak.”

The intercom cracks again. “Come in.” 

The gate opens up, and as soon as Dean goes through, it closes behind him. He walks up the driveway with gravel crunching under his feet and marvels at the trees that line the way on both sides. He’s been staring at those trees for three years, but since they’ve always been a nuisance to him, he’s never seen their beauty. When Dean walks up to the door, it opens up, and Jimmy’s bodyguard comes outside, offering his hand to Dean. “Hello, I’m Gee. You have an appointment?”

Dean shakes his hand before he gives him Jimmy’s card. “Yes, Mr. Novak gave me this.”

Gee checks the card and gives it back to Dean. “Alright, come in.”

Dean follows him inside, and Jimmy comes towards them. “Dean, I’m glad you came.” He gives Gee a nod and waves Dean closer. “Let’s talk in the kitchen.”

While Dean follows Jimmy along the corridor, he’s not sure where to look first. He liked the house from the outside, and being inside is a revelation. Without meaning to, he learns more about Jimmy than he ever thought possible. There are pictures everywhere. Either photographs of what seems to be his family, or paintings. Dean doesn't dare to ask if he's done them himself. The floor is some dark wood he doesn't know the name of, and it's only visible in spots that are not filled with fluffy carpets. 

The air inside the house smells just as fresh as outside, but with more warmth to it, and somehow there's lots of light coming from everywhere. Usually, Dean would teasingly ask about Jimmy's interior designer, but he doesn't dare to speak. Somehow he feels like he shouldn't even be breathing. Jimmy leads him into a very open kitchen. There is even more light, and lots of space. Instead of pictures, there are flower pots along the walls with all kinds of different herbs. The center of the room is dominated by a wooden table, surrounded by corner benches. It looks like the typical booth in diners, just more folksy.

Guided by Jimmy's hand, Dean takes a seat there, and Jimmy turns to him. "Can I offer you something? Tea? Coffee?"

"I don't need any-"

Jimmy doesn't let him finish. “I know we had a rocky start, but you’re my guest now, so please don’t feel like you’re intruding.”

It feels like Jimmy is making a peace offering and Dean doesn’t want to insult him. "Coffee sounds fine,” he says with a weak smile.

“Alright.” While Dean fails to feel anything near comfort, Jimmy walks over to the kitchen counter to get coffee. He uses a big coffee machine that might put some coffee shops to shame, and at the same time, he brews some water in a teakettle. Dean tries his best not to watch him too carefully, and doesn't want to see his surroundings either. He fell in love with the house the moment he stepped into it; Dean sure doesn't need to see more things he's going to miss when he's back in his shitty apartment.

After a while, Jimmy comes back with a cup of coffee, sugar, and cream on a tray. He puts it in front of Dean, not really listening to Dean's whispered 'Thank you.' as he has to get the whistling teakettle under control. Until he comes back, Dean occupies himself with his coffee. It tastes like heaven. Of course it does. It's like Dean stepped into an alternate universe where everything is perfect. The coffee, the house, the weather, and his host. When Jimmy finally sits down on the other side of the table, Dean can't help but stare at him. Somehow, this figure that he’s been chasing becomes a real person, and it’s a little scary.

“You’re probably wondering why I asked you to come here,” Jimmy says, and continues when Dean nods. “Is it okay if I ask you some things before I explain myself?”

“Alright?” Dean says, and can’t help that it comes out like a question.

Jimmy takes a long sip of his tea before he places the cup on the table, and folds his hands in his lap. "In the bakery, I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with your brother. May I ask what he's doing?"

"Law school."

"And you think he's going to be a lawyer?"

Dean huffs a laugh. "Of course he will. Sammy is the smartest person I know, and stubborn to no end. He'll do great."

Jimmy takes another sip from his tea and nods. "As long as you pay for it by disregarding other people's privacy?"

"I told you, I don't do that anymore." Dean tries his best not to lose his temper. "But yes, I'm helping him with the payments. At least one of us should be able to fulfill-"

He doesn't finish the sentence, but Jimmy probably knows what he meant to say. "Are your parents not supporting him?"

"That would be a little creepy because they're dead." Dean raised his voice without meaning to and puts down his coffee before he could throw it through the room.

"I'm very sorry." It's the same thing people always say, but at least Jimmy sounds genuine. "I lost my mother, I think I can relate to a certain degree."

They both take a sip of their drink, and Dean tries to start up the conversation again, showing his good will. “My brother is a huge fan by the way. He loves your books.”

"And you?”

Dean thought about reading them but felt like he'd been doing enough damage with physically stalking Jimmy. Reading his books would have been like infiltrating his mind as well. "Sorry to disappoint you again, but I didn’t read them. I spend most of my time with disregarding people's privacy."

"Touché." A small smile appears on Jimmy's lips, and he tries to hide it behind his teacup. Dean saw it though, and it makes him feel way too comfortable. If it weren't Jimmy fucking celebrity Novak in front of him, he would have started flirting with the man in a second.

Instead, something is flirting with his legs. Dean breathes in sharply at the touch, and a second later he's got company. A cat jumps onto the bench next to him and watches him with big, dark eyes. "Hey gorgeous, you frightened me." Unintentionally, his voice went way too high, but the cat seems to like it. She comes closer, stomping onto his leg and pushing her head into his face. "Wow, someone is very friendly."

Jimmy is watching them, and Dean checks on him while raising his hand. "Can I pet it?"

"By all means, go ahead. Her name is Lollop, and she's rarely so friendly. You should make use of the chance."

Dean carefully ruffles her fur from the top of her head down to her chin to see what she likes, and she immediately starts to purr. "You like that, Lollop? That's a weird name you have there. Can I call you Lolly?" She answers with another headbutt, and Dean smiles. "I’ll take that as a yes."

The room becomes quiet while Dean keeps petting the cat, and at some point, he can't take it anymore. "Anything else you want to know?"

Jimmy is watching Lollop with an intensity Dean can't quite explain. It's like all the answers of the universe lie in that cat. As if feeling the pressure on her, she watches Jimmy for a moment before she decides that Dean's lap is the perfect place to have a nap. When she's settled down on top of him and closes her eyes, her spell on Jimmy seems to break. He finishes his tea in one gulp, and puts down the cup with a finality that makes Dean uneasy. Something is about to happen, and in his case, it's rarely good. "I have a proposition for you."

“Okay,” Dean says, trying his best to sound casual.

“I agreed to an exclusive interview with the magazine ‘Starstruck,’ and obviously they want pictures to go with it,” Jimmy explains. “I also started a blog recently, and I’d need pictures for that as well. Not only once, but for the foreseeable future, so basically I’m looking for a personal photographer.”

Now it makes more sense to Dean why he’s here. Jimmy is banking on his insider knowledge. “That’s no trouble, if you have something to write, I can give you about ten names and numbers right now; more if you give me a day to-”

Dean stops mid-sentence. The small smile on Jimmy’s face is back, and he raises his eyebrows, disbelieving of what Dean is saying. It’s such an unusual expression that Dean can’t handle it, and then Jimmy tilts his head, apparently waiting for Dean to catch on. It takes a few more seconds before Dean’s brain makes the connection. “Wait, are you asking me?” Jimmy nods, and Dean’s voice gets uncomfortably high again. “Me? Why?”

Lollop lifts her head, and Dean pets her again, whispering a quick ‘sorry.’ Jimmy gets up to get himself more tea, and after he had given Dean some time to digest the offer, he sits back down. “I could go through the process of interviewing people. Then I could hand out an NDA and threaten lawsuits if the person I hire decides to do some shenanigans with my pictures. I will win, sure, but the pictures would still be out there.”

Dean makes sure Lollop settled down again and keeps his voice low. “How do you know that I wouldn’t do it?”

Jimmy leans back in his chair and looks outside at the garden with a sigh. “I don’t, not for sure. But I looked up old photos you took of other people and me, and couldn’t find a single one that wasn’t complementary to the person in it. You seem to have a conscience, unlike most paparazzi. Then you said you wanted to stop, and when it came down to it, you choose not to take the picture. I like when people back up their words with actions, and you followed through.”

Dean shrugs, trying not to think about Jimmy looking up his old work. “Could have been a ruse. You considered that?”

“Yes,” Jimmy says, but then he chuckles. “But that’s crazy. You might have tried to gain my trust, but there’s no way you could have known that I would turn around and hire you.” Jimmy watches Dean with that intense stare again. “Or did I underestimate you and this is all part of your ingenious plan?”

Dean huffs a laugh. “Alright, I get your point. And no, there’s no plan. I’m not a Bond villain.”

They stay silent for a moment, and both watch Lollop. “You don’t have to decide right away,” Jimmy says into the quiet and gets up again. He picks something up out of a little box on the counter and hands it to Dean. “That’s the contact info for my manager and my contact at the magazine. If you accept, you have to get in contact with them. I can give you about a week to decide.”

“Like I’m going to say no,” Dean huffs.

“Think about it,” Jimmy insists. He walks over to Dean and carefully lifts Lollop up from his lap. She’s not happy at first, but then he cradles her in his arm and keeps petting her. “I wrote my number down as well, maybe you can give me a heads up. And I wouldn’t want to change it, so-”

Dean nods. “Sure, I’ll keep it under wraps.” He gets to his feet, and Jimmy walks him to the door. They say a quick goodbye and Gee gives him a nod before Dean stumbles outside. The other paparazzi swarm him the second he’s past the gate, but Dean doesn’t answer them and keeps walking until they give up and head back. Dean makes sure he’s alone before he gets into his car and then he sits there for a few minutes, staring at the steering wheel. “Baby, what just happened?”


	6. Chapter 6

It’s been three days since Castiel offered Dean the job, and while he wanted for Dean to take his time, it still makes him nervous. Of course, an offer like this must be awesome for Dean, but it’s just as important to Castiel. He has a hard time trusting people, and hiring a completely unknown person is the last thing he wants to do. Besides, if Dean doesn’t have a camera in front of him, he’s easy to talk to, and while Castiel hates to admit it, Anna’s words are true. Dean is kind of cute. 

The whole day, Castiel tries his best not to think about Dean, but then Lollop attacks his feet, and he’s back to square one. He lifts her up and pets her while he walks upstairs to his office. “You liked him, didn’t you? The guy the other day, with the green eyes and the scruff?”

Castiel remembers Dean’s lips, too, but he won’t say that out loud, not even to his cat. Instead, he puts her down, and she marches to her favorite place in one of his bookshelves, and Castiel sits down at his computer. While Cain hired somebody to screen the questions that come in for Castiel’s blog, it’s still on him to actually answer them. He scrolls through the list, trying to focus on this instead of Dean, and searches for a question that’s intriguing enough to answer. 

Most of his fans want to know his favorite something, like books and movies, and while Castiel doesn’t want to give out too much personal information with questions that go deeper than that, those are kind of boring. Castiel tries to pick some that are the middle ground and finds one by someone called Impala67 that says: if you weren’t an author, what would you be up to right now?

Castiel knows that he got lucky with his book. He doesn’t consider himself a better author than others, and he didn’t put in the work, considering how many hoops writers usually have to jump through to get published. Somehow he just managed to finish a compelling enough story at the right time. But what if he didn’t write at all? Castiel can’t see himself in an office or shop, since he already liked to avoid strangers before he became famous. As a teenager, he wanted to photograph; the irony is not lost on him. For all he knows, he could have ended up on the other side of the fence, taking pictures instead of being the target. 

At first, the thought is jarring, but then Castiel imagines how different his first meeting with Dean could have been. He looks over to Lollop, who’s licking her paw, and addresses her with his cat voice, “And he smelled good, too. Don’t you think?”

Lollop blinks at him, and Castiel sighs. “Don’t start, I know I’m an idiot.” He takes one deep breath and answers the question, not mentioning any of the things he just thought about.

* * *

Under the watchful eyes of Lollop, Castiel is pacing up and down in his office. He can’t remember the last time he’s been so nervous. But then again, today is the day. Two weeks ago, Castiel made Dean the offer to work for him, and five days later Dean accepted. He hatched out all the details with Cain and corresponded with the magazine, and he and Castiel agreed on a date for the photo shoot. At the time, Castiel looked forward to it, but now he wishes he could disappear.

Dean is right on time, but Castiel still jumps when the doorbell rings at 8 am. He takes his time to take a few deep breaths and only walks out of his office and down the stairs after a little while. Castiel doesn’t want to seem too eager after all. In the hallway, he finds Gee next to a whole lot of equipment that Dean needs for the shoot, and that he borrowed from one of the in-house photographers of the magazine. Dean comes in with another spotlight and carefully puts it down. “Heya Jimmy,” he says.

“Hello, Dean.” Castiel is too nervous to say anything else. Instead, he just stares at Dean, who rubs his hands together. 

“So, you said you wanted to start in the library?”

After Dean and Castiel arranged the date for the shoot, Dean texted Castiel a few times to make sure he and the magazine were on the same page about the shoot. Castiel nods. “Yes, it’s right down the corridor.” 

Gee moves to pick up one of the spotlights, but Castiel shakes his head. “It’s alright, I can help with that.”

“Sure. Shout if you need me,” Gee says and goes back to the observation room. 

Dean cocks an eyebrow at Castiel. “Are you sure about that? This stuff is heavy.”

“I have you know that I have a gym in my basement, and I use it frequently,” Castiel huffs. “I think I can handle a little lamp.”

Dean slowly looks him up and down, as if to ascertain the truth of that statement, and Castiel becomes acutely aware of how his shirt feels on his skin. Finally, Dean shrugs. “You’re the boss. Lead the way.”

Castiel takes one of the spotlights, and it’s way heavier than he assumed, but he’d rather drop dead than admit it to Dean. He walks down the hall with as much speed as he can manage, and only puts it down after they discussed where to start and where Dean needs the light. When everything is in place, Dean walks up to him with a small makeup case. “I need to put a little powder on you, so the light doesn’t reflect off your skin.”

“Sure,” Castiel says, trying to sound casual, but he’s not quite sure where to look when Dean leans in to apply the powder. He remembers his one-sided conversation with Lollop because Dean does indeed smell good, and for the first time, Castiel notices how many freckles dance around his cheeks and nose. Dean runs his tongue along his upper lip in concentration, and Castiel holds his breath until Dean leans back to check his work.

“Okay, that should be enough.” Dean walks over to his camera, and while he searches his bag for another lens, he nods to one of the bookshelves. “Is that what you want to wear?”

“Um,” Castiel racks his brain over what could be wrong with his clothes, but when he comes up empty, he shrugs. “Yes. Do you think I should change?”

“No,” Dean says, the word shooting out of him, and suddenly he’s very interested in his camera. “S’alright, I guess. Ready when you are.”

Castiel is ready, but then Lollop comes into the room, followed by Muffin, a small tabby, and while Lollop inspects one of the spotlights, Muffin runs circles around Castiel’s legs. “I’m sorry, I’ll put them outside.”

Dean shakes his head. “It’s no problem unless you don’t want them in the shot. I mean, this is supposed to be about you, and you do have cats. Makes it look more authentic.”

“Okay, sure.”

When Castiel lifts Muffin up and boops his nose, Dean’s camera clicks. Castiel looks over at him, but Dean gestures to Muffin. “Ignore me and just do what you would normally do. I’ll just catch what I can, and later we’ll pick the best pictures.”

Castiel feels weird doing anything in front of Dean, but then he tries to focus on Muffin, and the camera becomes background noise. After a while, they move to the kitchen where Castiel feeds the cats and drinks a cup of tea, and they end the shoot in his office. Afterwards, Castiel offers Dean some sandwiches and although Dean protests at first, they end up next to each other on one of the benches in the kitchen, and eat while looking through the pictures. 

Castiel is pleasantly surprised by the outcome. Usually, all the pictures of him are somewhat blurry and from a distance. Dean’s photos are right out artistic, and often times don’t even focus on Castiel. It’s like he’s a visitor in some warm and homey landscapes. Dean doesn’t think so though. He quickly goes through them, unsatisfied with everything. “This angle isn’t good. Those might do, maybe with a different filter. I could cut that one, but not sure if the magazine would go for it.”

“Thank you,” Castiel says, intentionally interrupting Dean’s rant. 

“For-” Dean turned around and misjudged how close he came to Castiel while watching the same screen. They’re almost nose to nose, and Dean leans back. “For what?”

“You must have noticed how nervous I was.” Dean makes a face like he wants to deny it, but Castiel keeps talking, “You managed to have me in the picture without making me the focus. I really appreciate that.”

For once, Dean stops flipping through the pictures but avoids looking at Castiel. “I didn’t think that a nervous smile makes for good pictures. And I feel like this house shows a lot about you, so why not have it in the frame?”

“That was good thinking,” Castiel says, and Dean looks up. He seems surprised by the praise, and Castiel decides to go all in. “You have a great eye for composition and detail. I like them a lot.”

Dean blushes, making his freckles even more prominent on his skin. He rubs his neck and watches the screen again. “It’s, um, it’s easy. With such a good background and all.”

“Don’t underestimate your skill. I’d hang up any of those if I didn’t think it was weird to look at my own picture. And I don’t think I can choose, so I’d say you take your pick and give the magazine what works best.”

“You want me to decide what goes public?” Dean asks with big eyes.

Castiel laughs. “Aren’t you the professional?”

“Yes,” Dean says, rubbing his neck again. “Of course. I’ll just go over them, edit them, and then I’ll send you what I want to give the magazine.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Castiel says with a smile, and suddenly Dean smiles back with full force. It’s a little bit breathtaking.

“My first real photo shoot, done.” Dean looks at the screen like he can’t quite believe it, and Castiel dares to pat his shoulder.

“Congratulations. Well done.”

“Feels better,” Dean says, more serious now. “You know, than being out there.”

Castiel looks out into the garden, thinking about how Dean caught him sneaking out. “Are you having trouble getting in and out?”

“Because of the other paparazzi? No, it’s alright. I’m not sure they even know it was me, I usually park my car farther away from here.” Dean closes his laptop and gets up. “I’d better get packing though. Is it okay if I ask Gee for help again?”

“I can help you,” Castiel offers, but Dean shakes his head.

“I parked as close to the door as possible, but if you go out there-”

He doesn’t finish the sentence, but they both know what he’s trying to say. “Well, I can go as far as the door. Let’s start with that.”

Together they bring the equipment to the door and Gee helps Dean to load it all safely into his car before doing one of his rounds, while Dean heads back to the house to say goodbye to Castiel. “Okay, I’ll send over my choices as soon as possible, and you let me know if I can give them to the magazine.”

“Sure, sounds good,” Castiel says, and they just stand there, not quite sure what to do. Castiel would feel weird shaking Dean’s hand, and Dean must feel the same because he does a little wave.

“Alright.” 

He turns around to walk to his car, and Castiel throws caution to the wind and steps outside. When his eyes fall on the black Chevy in his driveway, some gears begin to slowly turn in his head. “Dean?”

Dean turns around but stays where he is. “Yes?”

“That’s your car? Is it a Chevy?”

“Sure is.” Dean smiles wider than he ever did before. “‘67 Chevy Impala, but I just call her Baby. Why?”

“Just curious. I haven’t seen one up close before.”

“Yeah, they don’t make ‘em like that anymore,” Dean sighs. “But you’re gonna see more of this one.”

He smiles again, and Castiel smiles back. “Yes, of course.”

Dean gives him another little wave, and Castiel goes inside and leans back against the closed door. ‘67 Chevy Impala. Impala67. It has to be a coincidence, right?


	7. Chapter 7

The first thing Dean invests in after getting his payment for the photoshoot is a coffee maker. It’s a cheap one with only the one function to make one type of coffee, but at least he gets to drink something that’s freshly brewed whenever he wants. The second investment is a downpayment on the photo workshop, and Dean loves doing it. The teacher liked what he already did, and saw much room for improvement if Dean was adequately trained. 

With a cup full to the brim with coffee, Dean sits down in front of his computer. It’s embarrassing and a little creepy, but Dean can’t help but look at the pictures of Jimmy over and over again. He’s proud of his first successful shoot, and Dean tells himself that he’s just looking for ways to improve his technique, but that’s not the only reason. If Dean's honest with himself, then he merely enjoys looking at Jimmy. Of course, he always knew that Jimmy was attractive, but it’s one thing to look at him through a camera lens from afar, and an entirely different thing to be in one room with him, up close and personal.

When Dean looks at the pictures, his mind puts him back into that room. It’s warm and smells like wooden furniture and books, dust dances in the sunlight that shines through the window, and Jimmy’s deep voice rumbles through the air like a soft gust of wind when he talks to his little furballs. In Jimmy’s office, Dean felt like he could feel the creative energy. All around his laptop, stacks of paper are scattered all over the desk with Jimmy’s handwriting varying from calligraphic precision to unreadable chicken scratch, and every pen holds secret stories that are waiting to come out.

Even worse is the kitchen. Dean loves to cook, and the idea of creating something of his own, with fresh herbs and the promise that someone is waiting for him to finally finish so they can dig in took root in his mind and doesn’t let go. Maybe he even likes to imagine that Jimmy could be that person. Dean knows it’s nonsense and even without their respective backgrounds, it’s foolish to crush on somebody he barely talked to. It’s just that Dean remembers how it felt to have Jimmy’s arm brush against his own when they were sitting on that bench together, how Jimmy’s scent tickled his nose, and worst of all, how incredibly blue Jimmy’s eyes are when they sparkle at you from up close. 

Dean closes the window with the pictures and opens his browser instead. He fully plans on doing something that has nothing to do with Jimmy, but just seconds later, he finds himself on Jimmy’s blog. Dean sighs, “Get it together, man.”

Sam mentioned Jimmy’s blog and Dean couldn’t help but send a question in. He doesn’t want to admit how proud he was when Jimmy actually answered it, and since then Dean has avoided the blog. After all, he’s trying to stay out of Jimmy’s business. It’s bad enough that Dean broke one of his promises and read Jimmy’s first book, after all, he shouldn’t pry any deeper into his mind. Dean is about to close the site when he sees a number next to the message icon. He clicks it and reveals a message from Jimmy. 

Dean looks at the name in shock and checks if someone is faking this, but it’s the official name from Jimmy himself. He thanks him for the message and asks him to send more. Guilt rises up in Dean, and he clicks the button to reply. He fucked up so much in the past; he’s not planning on doing it again. With a few short sentences, Dean admits who he is and explains that he sent the question out of personal interest and not to gain information. He just hopes that it’s enough.

* * *

Castiel sits in his garden, his laptop in front of him, and a smile on his face. He has another message from Dean. After baiting him with the message, Dean admitted that he’s Impala67, and after Castiel thanked him for his honesty, they stayed in touch with more messages. Dean tells Castiel about the photo workshop, the jobs he manages to land, and how annoying Sam is because he’s so in love with someone named Eileen. Castiel informs Dean about his writing progress, what pie flavor he tried in the Sanctuary, and how his sister doesn’t have time for him anymore since Charlie turned her into a LARPing geek.

Over the last few weeks, Castiel looked forward to getting more messages from Dean, and is so bad at hiding his excitement that Anna and Gee picked up on it. Gee is checking the garden to make sure that Castiel can write in peace, but when he walks past him, he side-eyes Castiel with a smile. “What’s with the grin?”

“Nothing,” Castiel says and hastily closes the window, but Gee keeps smiling.

“Another message from Dean, Mr. Novak?” Gee teases, imitating Dean, and Castiel takes an apple from the table and throws it at Gee. Of course, Gee catches it and takes a bite before moving on, leaving Castiel with a hollow feeling in his chest. 

In the past, Castiel was perfectly happy with only Anna and Gee around, but now he met Dean, and all the fans who write to him remind him that there’s a much bigger world out there. As much as he likes disappearing into his fantasy kingdoms, it gets lonely after a while. Castiel even invented a book he’s working on so he can ask Dean fake research questions about photography and camera equipment. Dean gave him so much useful insight that Castiel began to take notes and actually thinks about using the information for an actual book. In fact, that would be an excellent opportunity to invite Dean. Castiel hates that he can’t just ask, but he’s never been good with socializing, and it’s a riddle to him how people do it. 

Before Castiel can wallow too much on the thought, he asks Dean if he wants to drop by to answer more questions, and jokingly adds that Lollop is missing him. Castiel doesn’t share those feelings of course. He doesn’t have time for them since he has to come up with more fake questions.


	8. Chapter 8

Dean made his way to Jimmy’s house once again, getting past the gate under the watchful eye of the other paparazzi. Crowley, in particular, gives him a dirty look every time he sees him, but Dean has other things to worry about. 

Despite knowing that he’s here for work, he feels like he’s going on a date. He even bought new clothes. All his other stuff is years old, and now that he has some money, he doesn’t have an excuse to show up in tattered jeans and frayed shirts. And something inside of him tells him to leave a good impression. Dean hopes that he can actually help Jimmy though. They already talked so much about the subject, and Dean looked up some of it before answering Jimmy. Just in case, he brought a thick book that he often uses himself, and that might be a good source for what Jimmy needs. 

When Gee tells Dean where Jimmy is, Dean walks upstairs to Jimmy’s office, accompanied by Lollop. Dean knocks twice, and when he doesn’t get an answer, he slowly opens the door. “Jimmy?”

“Hm?” comes a mumbled response, and Dean follows Lollop into the room. 

Jimmy is sitting at his desk and types on his laptop without pause. Dean is tempted to leave so he doesn’t disturb Jimmy, but Lollop has no qualms about making her presence known. She disappears under Jimmy’s desk, probably to attack his feet, and Jimmy finally tears his eyes away from the screen. “Lolly, how did you-?”

He doesn’t finish the sentence when his eyes fall on Dean, and he jumps to his feet. “Dean? Why didn’t you say something?”

“You seemed so busy,” Dean explains. “Isn’t it forbidden to distract a writer?”

“It should be,” Jimmy smiles, and with Lollop on his heel, he walks around the desk. “Let’s go to the living room, I have my things for the book there.”

They settle down on Jimmy’s huge couch, and Jimmy asks Dean more questions and takes notes when Dean answers. He’s also pleased about the book Dean brought, but his heart isn’t in it. He keeps staring out of the window and writes down less and less until Dean interjects. “We can do this another time, you know?”

Jimmy blinks at him as if he’s coming out of a dream. “Excuse me?”

“You’re distracted. I don’t mind coming by another time.”

“No,” Jimmy shakes his head. “I’m sorry, I just- I have those days-” He watches Dean as if to ascertain if he can talk about this with him. “I get this urge to be outside. That’s when I sneak out the back.”

That’s one mystery solved about Jimmy; a thousand more to go. “I see,” Dean says, “I always wondered, but couldn’t find a pattern. Because there is none.” Jimmy shrugs and stares out the window, and Dean gets a sudden urge to get that sad, longing look off his face. “We could go outside.”

‘I’ve sneaked out a lot lately, I don’t want to risk it.”

“But it’s the best opportunity. They think I’m here for pictures, so it clearly doesn’t make sense to leave. I can stay here till you’re back,” Dean offers.

The way Jimmy looks at him, Dean knows he’s considering it, but then he shakes his head. “I can’t let you do that. Let’s just focus on this.”

He looks down at his notes, but he’s not fooling anybody. “How about you drive with me? Dean suggests. “I always have a blanket on my back seat. Nobody in the whole world would ever guess that you’re hiding under it.”

Jimmy shakes his head. “And then what? People might still recognize me and-”

“There’s this little park in my neighborhood,” Dean interrupts him. “It’s not super pretty, but you can have a decent time there. It’s not too crowded, and we could still put you in disguise. Maybe just not the fedora.”

Jimmy raises one brow at him, probably not happy about the slight on his clothes. “Then what? I don’t have costumes lying around.”

Dean smiles. “You can wear something of mine. I always have spare clothes in my trunk. You get used to it when you crawl around in bushes or people spill drinks all over you.”

Jimmy falls back with a sigh and looks up at the ceiling. Dean has never seen him like this. He must be sick about sitting around the house. “Okay, why not. Let’s do it.”

* * *

Dean didn’t think this all the way through. They just arrived at the park, and Dean hands Jimmy some stuff to carry. It’s somewhat surreal for two reasons. First of all, Jimmy is holding the blanket from Dean’s back seat so they have something to sit on in the park, and they made a pit stop to get some snacks. This whole thing has picnic written all over it, making it feel even more like a date. The other thing is Jimmy wearing Dean’s clothes. In the three years of following him around, Dean has never seen Jimmy wear anything like it. He dug some old sneakers out of his closet, and Dean gave him jeans that are ripped in some places and his oldest AC/DC shirt. Jimmy’s also wearing a baseball cap and Dean’s sunglasses. Lucky for them, it’s hot enough that it looks more like standard precaution and less like a disguise.

Dean can’t stop staring at Jimmy and almost drops his tripod on the way. He can’t even tell why it bothers him so much. Maybe because it feels like a morning after situation where Jimmy had to borrow some clothes. Dean tries not to think about a scenario where it might lead to that, and instead shows Jimmy his favorite place. They sit down in the shadow of a big tree and eat, while Dean explains to Jimmy what he’s supposed to photograph for the workshop. Jimmy listens intently and keeps asking questions, but more out of interest than for research purposes. The attention makes Dean feel all warm inside, and he has to force himself to actually take pictures instead of talk to Jimmy.

Dean needs some nature shots, and he takes some close up pictures of flowers, the grass, and the bark of an old tree. Then he captures some treetops and a piece of meadow with trees and the blue sky in the background, trying very hard not to compare the blue to Jimmy’s eyes. He even manages to get some birds in mid-flight, and only sits back down again when he has a decent amount of pictures.

Meanwhile, Jimmy just sits there, staring at nothing and breathing the fresh air. At first, he seemed nervous, but there are only a a few people around, and none of them care about the two guys with the camera. With each passing minute, Jimmy relaxes more until he asks for Dean’s permission to take a few pictures himself. “Gotta love the irony,” Dean says when Jimmy stands there in his clothes, with the camera around his neck. 

Jimmy points it at Dean and smiles. “Be careful, I might get a shot of you.”

“Do your worst,” Dean smiles, not thinking that Jimmy might act on the dare, but the camera clicks and Dean dives under the blanket. “Okay, I take it back. Take pictures of something else.”

“Annoying, isn’t it?” Jimmy says, but there’s amusement in his voice, and he wanders off to take some pictures. 

Dean watches Jimmy and feels so happy for him. He’s out and about, having fun, and Jimmy only looks around to find something worthwhile to photograph, and not because he’s making sure he’s not being followed. After a while, Jimmy comes back all excited about one of the pictures. He sits down next to Dean, and they come close again to look at the tiny camera screen. “Not bad, huh?” Jimmy says with pride in his voice.

Dean studies the picture of a butterfly before turning to Jimmy. He took off the sunglasses, and Dean stares at his profile until Jimmy moves his head. Quickly, Dean looks back at the camera and nods. “So beautiful, and hard to capture.”

“I think I could put that one up, can you send it to me?”

“Just that, or all of them?” Dean asks.

Jimmy looks at the pictures he took. “All of them, maybe there are more which I want to keep.”

“Okay, sure.” Dean takes back the camera from Jimmy, and wishes he could take a picture right now. Jimmy is always attractive, but smiling and happy, he’s right out gorgeous, and Dean wishes he could keep this moment. Who knows if he’ll ever get a chance like this again.

They stay until it begins to get dark, and Dean drives up as close as possible to the back of Jimmy’s house so he can sneak in through the back. “Thank you, Dean. That was really nice.”

“No problem. If you need another getaway, just let me know.”

Jimmy smiles at him and nods before opening the car door, but then he stops and looks back to Dean. “Can you keep a secret?”

“Sure,” Dean says, but the word comes out too fast, and Jimmy gives him a scrutinizing look.

“I managed to keep this secret for years, I need to be sure it stays that way.”

Dean nods slowly. “I will do whatever it takes to keep it that way.”

Jimmy takes a few more seconds to study him, and takes a deep breath. “Jimmy is my second name. My family and friends call me Cas, short for Castiel.”

It makes perfect sense, and Dean wonders why he never thought about this. Lots of celebrities have different names after all. He offers Cas his hand. “Nice to meet you, Cas.”

Cas shakes his hand with another big smile, and Dean hates himself for what he just did. When Cas’ hand touches his, sparks erupt in his stomach, and he knows that he just made things a lot harder on himself.


	9. Chapter 9

It’s been a few weeks since the day with Dean in the park, and Castiel doesn’t know what happened, but something between them changed. They keep messaging each other, and it’s less and less about work or research and more about personal things. Instead of answering those questions on his blog, Castiel tells Dean about his favorites, like movies and books. Often times they have something in common and when not, they manage to have a fruitful discussion about it. Castiel rarely meets people he gets along with so quickly and so soon; he finds himself not only longing for the outside world but also Dean’s company. 

That’s why he immediately agrees when Dean suggests another trip. This time, they’ll go to a cabin Dean’s father used for hunting. Because Anna wouldn’t let it go, Gee already checked it out, but Castiel insisted on going alone with Dean. He’s touched that Anna and Gee care about his safety, but he’s still a grown man and able to decide where he goes and who to trust. Dean definitely kept Castiel’s real name to himself since it doesn’t come up anywhere, and believing that the garden door is still a secret as well, Castiel sneaks out to meet Dean.

Two days prior, Dean came by to fetch Castiel’s things so he wouldn’t be bothered by them, and gave him another outfit to wear. Castiel could have bought something in the same style instead of borrowing stuff from Dean, but after the first time worked so well, it feels like a lucky charm to Castiel. Besides, even without Dean in them, his clothes have a hint of his smell, and Castiel doesn’t mind being enveloped in it. With a baseball cap and sunglasses on, he makes his way along the street to their rendezvous point, and Dean starts driving as soon as Castiel closes the car door.

They drive for a bit to make sure they’re not followed before Castiel takes off the top part of his disguise. “Hello, Dean.”

Dean checks all his mirrors one more time before smiling at Castiel. “Heya Cas.”

It’s only the second time that Dean has used Castiel’s real name, and the sound of it drips down Castiel’s body like he got dipped in honey. He smiles back, and Dean keeps looking at him until he seems to remember that he’s driving. “Before we go any further, are you sure this is okay?” Dean asks. “I thought it was a good idea to get you out of the house, and only after I suggested it, I realized how creepy it sounds to invite somebody to a cabin in the woods.”

“Just promise me you’re not a crazy ax murderer and we’re good,” Castiel jokes.

“Oh, it’s alright then. My preferred weapon is a machete,” Dean says like they’re discussing the weather, and a second later they both chuckle. 

Dean winks at Castiel and focuses on the road again, still checking his mirrors way more often than he usually would, and Castiel is left to sneakily watch him whenever possible. He tries his best to take in the landscape instead, but his eyes dart back to Dean again and again. It’s not only how they interact with each other, but there’s a visible difference as well. In the beginning, Dean was reserved, and aside from short accidental moments he always kept his distance from Castiel. Now he seems way more relaxed, and taps his fingers on the steering wheel along to the music.

They make a last pit stop at a gas station, and when Dean gets back into the car, he nods to Castiel. “Check under your seat. It’s time we get this party started.”

Castiel pulls out a shoe box from under his seat and checks the content. “Cassette tapes?”

“I don’t want to hear a word, okay? Sammy’s giving me enough shit about it, but I’m not gonna tear this radio out of Baby.”

“No, I think it’s great,” Castiel says, rummaging around in the box. “If I knew, I would have brought my own.”

“Oh,” comes Dean’s reply and he seems unequipped for such a response. He watches Castiel for a moment before he gets his voice back. “Usually I’d say driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole, but you can pick one if you want.”

“Sure.” Castiel keeps looking and finally hands a tape to Dean. “I hope this is an old one.”

Dean takes the tape that says ‘Dean’s 13 Top Zepp Traxx’ on it, and seems embarrassed for a moment, but then he shrugs. “An oldie but a goldie. You like Led Zeppelin?”

“Who doesn’t?” Castiel says, and Dean smiles.

“A man after my own heart.”

It’s just an idiom, Castiel knows that, but there’s a tingling feeling in his stomach that doesn’t want to go away anytime soon.

* * *

Castiel falls in love with the cabin immediately. It’s a splodge of wood in the midst of a green sea. They left Baby behind at a parking space near the road, covered under a tarp because Dean doesn’t like when ‘all the stuff from the trees’ falls down on her. After a small hike along a narrow trail, they can’t see her anymore. It’s just the cabin, a lot of trees, and a trail leading to a dock at the lake nearby.

Dean’s father came here for hunting and fishing, but he never shot anything and always threw the fish back into the lake. Dean didn’t bother with the hunting part, and all he has is an old fishing rod from his father that he only puts into the water to look the part. All he cares about are the quiet and enjoying the lake. That’s what he tells Castiel when they bring their things into the cabin and soon after, they carry some food over to the dock and sit there, drinking beer and putting their bare feet into the water.

For about an hour, they don’t talk at all, and Castiel feels like he’s learning again how to breathe. He lets the fresh air fill him up and enjoys the smell of the water and the sun heated earth and grass. He’s not even much of a beer drinker, but he cools himself with the bottle, and it’s nice to share the experience with Dean. Only when it’s getting too warm, do they abandon the spot and walk through the trees instead. Dean takes more pictures, some of them even with Castiel in the frame. They don’t discuss it, but they both know that those are just for them. 

They make a small campfire and roast things to eat, ending up with a weird mixture of flesh, potatoes, and smores. While they talk about food, Castiel offers Dean the chance to cook in his kitchen, even if there’s really no reason for it, and Dean happily accepts. It’s an unspoken promise that they’ll spend more time together, and something warm is growing in Castiel’s chest. It’s a feeling of deep, satisfying peace, but whenever Dean smiles at him or says his name, little sparks go off in his stomach and he has to remember how to breathe. 

When it slowly gets darker, they head into the cabin and end up in front of the fireplace. Castiel brought some notes for the photographer story and tries to focus on them, but they are sitting next to each other on a fluffy rug, and whenever one of them turns a page, their arms brush against each other. Dean grins while reading through the notes. “Seems familiar.”

Castiel blushes but shrugs his shoulder. “There is a chance that the character might be slightly based on you.”

“Don’t sweat it,” Dean says. “It’s an honor to be immortalized by an author, right?”

“I guess.” Castiel is glad that it doesn’t bother Dean, and bumps against his shoulder on purpose. “And don’t worry, I’ll try to make the character not a complete ass.”

“That is awfully kind of you.” Dean turns another page, and he might have said more, but a piece of paper falls out. Castiel knows what it is and stares at it, frozen with sheer horror when Dean picks it up. It’s a photograph, and like every person would, he turns it around and looks at it, seeing himself. It’s the picture Castiel took of him at the park. Dean lifts his head and watches Castiel, who clears his throat. “Would you believe that it’s research for the book?”

Dean furrows his brows. “Would it be a lie?”

There aren’t many reasons to carry a photo of somebody around like this, and Castiel is tired of hiding, so he decides to come clean. “Yes.”

“What’s the truth?”

Castiel can’t help but stare at Dean. They are so close and looking at the real deal is so much worse than the picture. He tries to come up with the best words to confess his feelings. Words worthy of an award-winning author. “I like looking at it because I like looking at you, because I like you.”

The second the last word leaves his mouth, Castiel wants to die of shame, but then Dean lifts his hand to cup Castiel’s cheek and comes closer. “May I?”

His voice is low and smooth and ghosts over Castiel like a warm breeze, teasing an answer out of him. “Of course.”

Dean smiles softly and leans in to kiss Castiel. For a moment, time stands still, and Castiel only feels the warmth of Dean’s body next to his and Dean’s lips touching his own like they’re in their own little bubble. Only when they part again, the sound of the crackling fire comes back to him, and his fingers grab the fluffy carpet. He takes in Dean’s scent, this time from the actual source, not just the borrowed clothes, and they both take a deep breath like they need to restart their bodies.

“More smores?” Dean asks into the silence, and Castiel laughs. His chest feels like it’s about to burst and he knows he’s finally free. Free to be outside, free to love, free to live. He wants more of all of it.

“Yes, more please.” He smiles at Dean who winks, knowing that Castiel isn’t talking about smores.


	10. Chapter 10

Dean keeps looking in the mirror, not sure how to feel. It’s bad enough that Cas insisted on buying him a suit, but he didn’t just get him something off the rack. Two weeks ago, they snuck out, and Cas brought him to an actual tailor. The suit Dean is wearing now was explicitly made for him. On the one hand, he feels good and comfortable, maybe even sexy. Dean's not much of a suit guy in general, but he looks sharp. On the other hand, Cas made a point not telling him what he paid for the suit, and now Dean worries that he won’t be able to eat or even drink, horrified that he might ruin the best item of clothing he ever had.

His musings are interrupted when Cas comes into the room. “The car is here, we should leave soon.”

“The car,” Dean whispers to himself, and he tries to remember why he offered to come along to an award show. They have a freaking chauffeur and a fancy car, and there’s going to be a red carpet. All in all, it’s not such a big event, but way too big for the likes of him. Still, he promised Cas to help him out, so that’s what he’s going to do. He takes one last look in the mirror and smiles, before turning to Cas who’s fussing with something around his neck. “I can’t get this to-” Cas falls silent when his eyes fall on Dean. “See, all that talk about not being made for a suit, you look gorgeous.”

One of the things Dean likes about Cas is his honesty and how he often right out says what he thinks, but whenever it’s targeted at him, he doesn’t know how to handle it. “You, too. I mean, good- Uhm, you look nice. Handsome.”

“I’ll take all three,” Cas says and smiles bigger than he has all day, but then he turns to the mirror. “I can’t get this thing to work. Yours looks so good, how did you do it?”

“Self-taught with youtube videos,” Dean says, keeping to himself that he specifically taught himself things his mom said a ‘gentleman’ should know. “Let me help you.”

Cas hands him the bow-tie, and Dean tries to do an outstanding job while tying it around his neck. He wants his boyfriend to look his best after all. The thought stirs warmth in his chest, even more so when Cas leans forward and traces Dean’s bow-tie with his finger. “I prefer ties, but it seemed to be an occasion for something different.”

Dean nods along, taking in how pleasant Cas smells. “Here you go,” he says, and Cas turns his head to check himself in the mirror.

“Wow, that looks perfect.” Dean hums something incoherent in response, and Cas smiles at him before placing a gentle kiss on his lips. “Thank you.” 

Dean hums again and steals another kiss before Cas can ask the dreaded question, “Ready to go?”

“Absolutely,” Dean lies, and he follows Cas downstairs to the car.

* * *

Dean and Cas are both quiet on their way to the event. Only when they can already see the photographers outside the building, does Cas give Dean some instructions. “For now, I just want to get inside. Some people stop for pictures and such, but I’d rather do that later, if at all.”

“Okay, we’ll go right in,” Dean confirms. He wants to make Cas feel as comfortable as possible, and agreeing on a game plan seems like a good first step.

When their car pulls up to the carpet, somebody from the event opens the door, and Dean gets out and thanks the man before turning around. The impression he gets from his surroundings is amusing. A few people take a photo the second he leaves the car, but now they seem puzzled about who he is. Dean steps aside to make room for Cas. At first, it stays quiet, and when Cas hesitates, Dean carefully places a hand on the small of his back to guide him forward. They start walking, and by the time the photographers catch on, they’re halfway down the red carpet, out of reach for a good shot.

“We surprised them,” Dean laughs, “they weren’t sure what to make of me.”

“We were lucky, yes. But something tells me the way out won’t be so easy,” Cas says, fiddling with his hair like it wasn’t already messed up beyond repair.

“One step at a time, Jimmy.”

They didn’t talk about the name thing, but Dean can see gratitude in Cas’ eyes. Not only does Dean take care to keep Cas’ real name a secret, but he reminds Cas that he’s Jimmy now and that he can hide behind that persona. That gives Cas more confidence while they go through the process of certifying who they are to get to their seats. Cas even strikes up a quick conversation with a fellow writer they meet on the way, and soon, they both sit at a small table and sip wine. 

Dean can hear Cas suck in air when the lights die down and the show begins, like he held his breath until now and just remembered to breathe. After that, they just have to smile and clap along, and Dean starts to enjoy himself. The host, Garth Fitzgerald, does an excellent job at presenting the awards in a funny and not boring way. After a while, even Cas laughs along freely, any sign of tension gone from his face.

It only comes back when the category “best fantasy novel” comes up, and Cas seems to remember that he’s nominated. While Garth reads the names of the writers, a close up of each of them appears on the big screen. Without thinking about it, Dean reaches for Cas’ hand under the table, and Cas smiles precisely when the camera goes to him. Dean knows how pretty Cas is up close, but his smile in HD on a huge screen is surely a sight to behold. They should talk about an acting career.

“And the winner is...,” the woman on stage announces, and only now does Dean recognize her as the writer Cas talked to earlier. She takes her time opening the envelope, and when she reads the card inside, her whole face lights up. “Jimmy Novak.”

People start clapping around them, but Cas doesn’t move, he stares at her, shell-shocked, until Dean gets up and pulls him to his feet. “Congratulations,” he says, and suddenly, Cas throws his arms around him. Dean makes good use of the moment to give him some encouragement. “Don’t worry, you’ll be just fine.”

Cas gives him a tiny nod before he makes his way up to the stage. He walks like that’s something he does every day, confident and head held high. Dean feels pride swelling up in his chest. On the stage, the woman kisses Cas on the cheeks and hands him the award, a black wing made out of glass. Cas walks up to the microphone and the applause stops. “Wow,” Cas says, taking a long look at the audience. “Now, as a writer, this is very embarrassing. I have to confess, I didn’t write a speech.”

Cas makes a face, and the audience laughs. He goes on about how he didn’t expect to win, and continues to thank his sister and a few people who were involved in the making of the book. When he’s done, there’s more, and he leaves the stage together with the woman. Dean wonders where they might have gone, but it takes until the announcement of the next winner for Cas to sneak up from behind and slide back into his seat.

“There you are,” Dean whispers. “Where’s your award?”

“Backstage; so far there’s only the name of the award on it. They still have to engrave my name,” Cas explains. 

“Oh, I didn’t know that. But you were so good up there,” Dean says, clapping Cas on the back. It seems like a good gesture to comfort Cas, without giving anything away about their relationship. 

“I still feel like my heart might explode,” Cas admits.

They have to clap when the next winner finishes her speech, but afterwards, Dean catches Cas’ eye. “Nobody knew, okay? You were funny, modest and sincere. That was a perfect speech,” he assures Cas.

“Thank you,” Cas says, and Dean thinks that he blushes a little, but it’s hard to say in the dim lights. 

The show goes on with a musical performance from a band they both like, and some more awards. Garth presents some funny stories that happened due to online meddling from fans and dives right into the next category: “best new social media.” They show all of the nominees again, and this time Cas gives a little wave into the camera. He leans back in his chair while Garth opens the envelope. “The winner is...,” Garth says while he studies the card, “now I’m pleased about this one because I’m a big fan myself, and I think my fellow fans will be just as pleased. The winner is Jimmy Novak.”

Cas’ eyes grow big, and Dean feels like he’s even more surprised than before, but he rises to his feet, and Dean gets up to give him another quick hug. To Dean’s surprise, Cas doesn’t let go. He hugs Dean to his side and shoves him onto the aisle so they can walk to the stage together. Dean’s brain tells him that it would be weird to sit down again, so his legs keep walking. On the stage, Cas takes his second award from Garth and shakes his hand before taking his spot on the microphone again. Garth shakes Dean’s hand as well, smiling like he can’t believe his luck, and they both stand next to Cas. 

“Hello. Again,” Cas says, and the audience claps. “This is even more embarrassing now. You can probably guess what I’m about to say.” The audience laughs, and Cas continues, “I would like to thank my fans, not only for reading my books and voting for me to get this award, but also for making my blog a success in the first place. They gave me a very warm welcome, and make running my blog a welcome distraction when I’m once again stuck with my writing.”

The fellow writers in the audience clap in solidarity before Cas continues, “I had lots of help with the blog, and since I get compliments for its visual appeal, I want to thank one person in particular.” He gestures to Dean who’s touched by the sentiment but also wishes he could disappear right on the spot. “Dean Winchester. He continues to keep my blog from being a boring wall of text with his captivating pictures. Thank you, Dean.”

There’s more, and while Cas finishes his speech, Dean keeps staring at him, marveling about how so much has changed for them. Cas holds up the award to show that he’s done, and the audience claps until they leave the stage. They hand in the award and go back to their seats to enjoy the rest of the show. In the end, Garth thanks them all and invites them to join the after party. “Do you want to go?” Dean asks, and Cas immediately shakes his head.

“I’m good for now. There are still the photographers outside. I just want to get past them and be done for the day.”

“And the awards?”

“I asked them to send them to me. We can leave right away,” Cas explains, and they make their way outside. As soon as Cas and Dean step onto the red carpet, they are hit by a frenzy of flashing cameras. They step in front of a wall that’s covered with the names of the sponsors, and try to smile at the cameras without going blind. 

When Cas has enough, he taps Dean’s arm to signal him to move, and they walk along the carpet. Next up are reporters with cameras, and one woman snatches Cas right up while Dean tries his best to step aside so he won’t show up on the footage. The reporter doesn’t have much time though. Along the carpet stands a flock of fans, and when they notice Cas, they start screaming and chanting his name. Cas excuses himself from the interview and waves Dean to come along. They walk over to the fans and Dean didn’t expect this, but talking to them becomes the best thing of their evening. Some of them are a little eager and overexcited, but they’re also friendly and polite. They ask for autographs and selfies, and while most of them are focused on Cas and swoon about his books, a few of them thank Dean for the work on the blog. Dean’s highlight is one guy who keeps talking about the excellent photos in ‘Starstruck’ and who asks him to sign his camera.

They probably could have spent hours like this, but other people come along the carpet, and Dean carefully leads Cas away the first chance they get. Their driver brings the car around and the whole drive they stay silent. At home, they head to the kitchen and Dean drinks a beer while Cas has a cup of tea. They sit like this for about half an hour until Dean says, “Well, that sure was something.”

“Indeed,” Cas agrees, and they sit for a few more minutes before they decide to call it a day and go to bed.

Cuddled up against Cas, Dean falls asleep immediately. In the morning, he remembers dreaming about walking over a red carpet with Cas again, but it’s not at an event. They walked down the aisle after they got married.

* * *

Dean and Cas sit in the kitchen, Dean with Lollop next to him, when Gee comes in to hand Cas today’s mail. “You should take a look at this one,” he says, and when he leaves the kitchen Dean peeks over to Cas. “Look at what?”

Cas leans over and kisses him before handing him a magazine. “I guess I have to thank you. I’m not even in the picture.”

Dean stares at the magazine cover. It shows him standing on the red carpet without Cas, but an intense look on his face. It must have been taken when Cas gave the interview. To the side, big letters announce the corresponding story.

Dean Winchester - photographer, friend, or more?

Cas bumps Dean’s shoulder with a smile. “You’ve got to love the irony.”

Dean grunts, but he can’t even be angry, after all, he’s the big winner in all of this and couldn’t care less about a stupid picture. “Guess it’s true. Karma is a bitch.”


End file.
